Phase Finder

Raising warriors with strength and courage

Feb 18, 2022
 

I watched this video right before I was preparing to write about why I do what I do.

I'm a mom who is sharing stories, creating material and a community around what I wish my parents could have shared with me when I was growing into adulthood.

This is me. I know who I am. Now I'm processing my thoughts on my why.

As a parent I have this desire to raise my kids in the best way possible as I know my parents did for me. I identify strongly with this desire to raise warriors. I want to raise great people with strength and courage. I think all parents want that. All parents and especially those that follow me and support my work. They are consciously committed to creating this outcome. I think we're also consciously or unconsciously aware that it's not always clear how to do that.

The parents I connect with are the ones that know life is going to come hard and fast and we aren't always going to be able to be there. More importantly one day we just won't be. I'm not talking about death I'm just pointing out that it would be weird if we tried to go to their work with them! That would be weird and they'd be embarrassed. 

So how do we get from doing all the things for them to them doing all the things? It's going to be a process. Actually it's going to take teaching them a way to process things.

When I came up with the ShineOn™ Method it was in response to a need that I saw. As a communications professional words and conversations are something I pay microscopic level attention to. It's in my nature. I can't turn it off. So it makes sense to me that I would be the one to notice that there is something missing. 

To be super clear, what's missing is, we don't consciously, actively, every day teach them how to process their life for themselves. We don't consciously teach them how to know themselves. Many aren't taking the time to get curious about who their child is and who they are in the process of becoming.

It stands out to me that we need a common structure to support this if we're going to raise warriors that create their lives from a place of empowerment. So I'm creating it.

Ever notice how we are all doing our best in figuring out how to do our best and we're all kind of alone in it. I believe we need a way of processing what's going on in our lives in a way that we all can understand and participate in conversations to support each other. ShineOn™ is a structure to support this very specific kind of conversation. The one we are all having with ourselves about how we make sense of ourselves and our lives. I want us to have a sense of community in that. 

Talking about being in conversation with ourselves cultivates mental toughness. This can be a done with supportive and nurturing energy. It doesn't have to be hard.

Cultivating it is an inside job.

I teach how to go inside ourselves and explore.

I teach parents to teach this to their kids.

Teaching them to cultivate a rich interior world for themselves to get curious and explore is the objective.

We need to be encouraging this as a daily practice. Like brushing your teeth to maintain your oral health so too is the act of creating your life.

There is no set it and forget it. We are constantly surveying our lives and processing and making things make sense. This is not a static knowing. This is about normalizing that life is about being in a perpetual state of becoming.

We know our kids need more of this. It's not just about food, clothing and shelter especially as we enter into that journey into adulthood in our teen years. That time doesn't have to be a breaking away experience. It can instead be an exciting time of witnessing them rise up into the leadership role to create their future. It can be supportive and nurturing as well as exciting.

This video tells a story that the more successful the parents are the less likely it is that the kids are tuned into what it's going to take to achieve it for themselves. I get it. It makes sense that that's what the odds are. It's human nature. Fact is it's not in our nature to recognize our own privilege. We naturally take it for granted. It's what we've grown accustomed to. We can become comfortable and loose our ability to feel hungry when we're always being fed. 

I've been in those conversations and I've heard some parents say that it's not their child's fault. They take responsibility for it and that's where the conversation stops. 

If you're with me you know I say that's where the conversation begins. We know our kids are comfortable with their lifestyles and creature comforts and may not feel hungry. They are not lacking for anything and nothing is causing them to grow into strong, purpose driven warriors. It may all just be about the next restaurant, vacation and shopping trip. This kind of disconnection can feel falsely powerful.

All is not lost. There's lots that can be done to help them tune into the world and 'their world'. They can start to get to know themselves. They can start to tune into themselves and experience true self-empowerment. 

They are going to need it. 

As parents we may feel guilty that they may have been spoiled them and it's too late and not fair to rock their world. If that's how you feel about your parenting I'm here to tell you it's not. It's never too late and there's no need for dramatic reactions like cutting them off or anything like that. There's just getting curious about who they really are.

I believe deeply that no-one just gets through life. I believe we all have that moment at some point where we ask ourselves, "Why am I here?"

That's what ShineOn™ facilitates. In the beginning it's a self-discovery conversation. A journey into finding the answer.

That's how we tap into their potential.

We all know how great it feels when someone truly sees us. When someone takes the time to really get to know us on a deeper level. It's a wonderful feeling. You can be that person for your child. Just decide to get curious. Then a whole new world opens up. You get to learn what they are all about. They get to experience what it's like when someone recognizes their full worth and value of something about them or what they are doing.

Thing is it's not going to matter if you do.

Getting to know themselves is going to be something they question regardless. It will be life-long. I'm saying wouldn't you want to be part of the conversation? The one who stood in witness as they discovered the miracle that's hidden inside them? I know I want to be that person for my kids. I tell them all the time. They tell me to stop being cringey and I persist and I keep being curious. I see them try to hide their smiles of embarrassment and that's ok. I know it's working. They are becoming who they are meant to be. I am creating a safe space for that to be explored.

The thing I know for sure is that it has to be something they explore. It's not something I can do for them. I can only nurture and support as they go through the process.

We need to be encouraging them to discover their personal power.

To connect with their capacity for greatness.

To build resilience.

Learn how to accept that they will fail and to get up and keep going.

They have strengths, talents, gifts and skills they have to discover and explore. They will find their joy along that journey. It's not going to be easy however it is going to be worth it. 

This will take courage. This will take a strong mind. 

Imagine how much better it will be if they have us right there next to them believing in them and championing them on in their journey.

We have been trusted to raise them up.

Then one day they are grown.

We will ask ourselves have we raised warriors?

I believe the key is to start this conversation with our kids earlier. Get them into the spirit of discovery and curiosity young so that it feels natural to try things and fail and learn and keep going. 

When we're young the breakdowns and consequences are smaller and the lessons still potent and powerful. It takes a special kind of approach. 

That's what I work on every day when I'm creating the ShineOn™ world. I'm working on creating this space for this conversation so that we can all support each other in this journey. I'm working on creating the kind of experience that I would have wanted to have as a young woman growing into adulthood.

I am creating a future where we don't keep looping through the lessons of previous generations without a breakthrough. That's only going to be possible if we can shift the narrative together towards a future where we are empowered to create and realize our destiny. 

I want this for ourselves, for our kids and future generations. 

The easiest way to show your support and be a part of this is journey is to join my community with a ShineOn™ membership. I'm just starting to build it so it's very reasonably priced.  As I add more resources and fresh monthly content the price will go up and you'll be locked in. Check out it here and I hope to see you in there.

Raising warriors takes strong and courageous parents. Thank you for being here with me. Together we will unlock their greatness and potential.

Always becoming,

Lucy


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