Phase Finder

Create Freedom for Your Kids to Be Who They Are Meant to Be

Jan 06, 2022

Loved our awesome and insightful conversation with Annmarie Chereso as we tackled Creating Freedom for Your Kids to Be Who They Are Meant to Be.

Youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zIPaVNVVqE  
 


Show Notes:

I was on the periphery paying attention, seeing this social media and people organizing themselves a certain way. And I have a certain kind of listening of my world because I'm a communications expert.

I was noticing influencers; I was noticing people just doing their own fun thing. And I was learning about how to monetize on YouTube, all these different things and I would pay attention very closely to the really powerful aspects of marketing. Like for example, authentic voice is very important and so it became that, I noticed that in social media land, you're exposed and you're vulnerable.

The most powerful thing you trade on is that currency of your authenticity. Because people can really can identify a fake pretty quickly. These are instinctual gifts that we all have as human beings that we react to a person, their tone, their body language, their facial expressions, we know within split seconds. It's scientifically proven that, we decide if we can trust someone, it's in a microsecond. It's part of the mechanism of feeling safe and secure.

This is where ShineOn™ came from.

We're seeing our world really shift and I was seeing this emerge that this authenticity was really the currency you could trade on and build your business. And I had clients looking for this kind of help and I started doing consulting work and trying to help with websites, help with the storytelling and magnetize and grow their audience and magnetize people to their business.


I used to say, Okay, we have to be really clear on these things in our business, in our objectives, and then we get, go after it and we have this part to just execute on. So this was getting clear and this was taking action. This is the ShineOn™ method. This is what's called a clarity map. And this is my process.

It really required them to actually find their authentic voice in their life. their purpose, their passion, all these things like dharma, there's different names all over the planet for this, but I just seem to think that we don't talk about it that much.

We don't really bring language to that with our young people, I started to really see, and this is where I'm going to bridge over into the next part that you've mentioned about why did I say a connection to my parenting. Well, I noticed that a lot of parents will script that for their children. So their purpose, their voice, like who they are in this world.

If we look at my process of getting clear on who you were as a business for me became, it's the same. The framework was the same , if I treat my kids like clients and I treat them like let's discover their authentic voice.

“That's so big and so important. I want us all as parents to really root into that. Consider that you don't know what the world is going to look like in 20 years. Because the truth is we don’t. We don't actually know what the world's going to look like tomorrow.”
 – Annmarie

On top of that, I believe it's inauthentic, I could go as far as defending and making a case that it's a lie to tell our kids that we know best who they should be in this world. I feel like it’s a betrayal of their trust. And it's a betrayal of this contract we have with becoming parents when we give ourselves over. I believe that I truly surrendered in the process of becoming a mother. I just surrendered and I thought, I'm going to welcome these people, these beautiful souls that come here to this world and they've got stuff to do. They need help and encouragement to discover who they are.

I'm with everybody in this parenting thing we're doing this together I’m raising kids at the same time that I'm getting into this conversation. It’s very vulnerable to me Because I get it. I wouldn't want that kind of scrutiny, on my children ever. But I want to create freedom for them to be who they want to be.

It's the interconnection. I say parenting is leadership and leadership is influence. And all of parenting is a conversation. And we're either having the conversation from a place of fear or a place of trust. And so how is it that you have gotten to this place of trust? Because there's so much fear in parenting and the culture doesn't support us in trust. It supports us in fear.”
-Annmarie

We need to give them a chance more to navigate their lives themselves so they can have the practice of making decisions, learning what the impacts are so that when they are adults, when they're teenagers, bridging into adults and young adults, it's like they're learning consequences for the first time.

And I am not surprised that anxiety, depression even suicides are all on the rise. Like really, And the safety-ism in our culture with the kids, it's like they don't get to flex these muscles. They don't get to learn the resilience that they've come with like they've human beings. I mean, think of the arc of history, what we have survived and what we have created. And we arrive here today at this moment and, and we create the future. And what do we want that to look like? And I don't know if it's more like safeguards and more controls and you know, like compliance.


Trust them. Trust what you've done. You have to trust yourself that you did a good job with them. And when some obstacle comes, they are actually going to hit the brakes. They’re going to keep themselves safe.


Sometimes it just feels like you don't think it matters. it matters more to me that you know how to question things. Gather information. Arrive at a conclusion, take an action. It matters to me to watch and witness you work through this process

I hope for them that they become wholly truly who they're meant to become the, the best versions of themselves. And when it comes to their relationship with me, I work really hard and I'm committed to them always being heard, always having their voice be heard, and their presence of who they are to be a bigger priority than anything my ego could get rattled up about. I really don't care what it looks like to the external world.

What I really want to do is teach this framework that ShineOn™ offers so that people can actually share and be in that conversation with each other and say, Hey, you know what? And this part of my clarity map, like this is what's coming up for me. What's coming up for you? Be in this imaginative, creative space where we're just, you know, what do they call it? Life. The unfoldment things


You're just becoming, and every day you wake up and you're becoming, and what are you becoming? And have some sort of a focus lens on that.

When you're talking about your son I want to just make it very real, very tangible for people. This is seven questions. There's 14 steps when you sign up to do the ShineOn™ experience, you come into the space of me guiding you through the seven questions and the 14 steps. It's predictable. You get a practice in the framework, and then what happens is it creates your playbook. 

If you come to shineonmethod.com, you come into my world, you look at doing the ShineOn™ Experience, the clarity mapping is a part of the experience. You get all of this on demand. If you print all the PDFs that assemble into your playbook, you get a binder, hole-punch it, and you're off to it and you've got a new framework of looking at your life and you get to create. When you can create space around something like that and create a structure like the framework of ShineOn™, what it really does is, that structure anchors and frees you all at once!

 


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