Gary Vee on the only way to protect a child is to build their self esteemJun 26, 2023
As parents, protecting our kids is something we think about 24/7.
It's baked right into the experience of raising them.
As time passes, our role evolves and I'm convinced that we can at times forget what our role is as we move through the various phases and stages. This clip helps put the focus where it is needed most.
What protection looks like when they're just learning to walk is different than when they are teenagers and learning how to make their own plans or choosing their friends or feeling free from you with the new found independence of a driver's license. There's also the added layer now of cell phones, the internet and social media influencing everything.
This mom's question is so on point and probably echoing a million other parents out there. It's important to think about where we're at and be mindful of our role and what our children and teens need from us now.
I believe they desperately need us to help build their confidence. To teach them how to know and like themselves. I believe it's a skill. Our role is to help them see all the juicy goodness that's locked up in there and help them find it and unleash it in the world. We need to be their biggest fans. Encourage them relentlessly and at every opportunity highlight the progress they are making.
One thing that comes up for me quite a bit is the protection our kids need during this special time in their lives that I don't see mentioned too much. I call it psychological protection. That's what I believe Gary is talking about in this clip when he gives his answer.
I'm sure everyone has had the experience of going along in their day and they pick up their phone and do some scrolling and get hit with some content that disrupts their flow. It can be something sad, tragic, shocking, scary or just different and that's it, your mind, your mood and your day has been hijacked. That's the obvious kind of derailing. There's also the subtle ways that the internet gets into our psyche and shapes and influences our worlds, what we think about ourselves and how we understand how we fit in.
Gary's conversation with this mom is so important and his answer brilliant. You know I love working from the inside out and his emphasis on building our kid's self esteem as the only way to really protect our children is wonderful and a great reminder of what our role really is.
I know they grow up and may not act like what you say matters but I promise you it does. You can be the single biggest influence on your child's self-esteem and therefore whether they are equipped to protect themselves psychologically. Just telling them how amazing you believe they are can go a long way to building them up and protecting them from whoever and whatever may come along and try to define things for them.
This is not easily done, many times I've had teens argue with me and try to tell me just exactly how 'not good enough' they are and how they don't make the cut for the standards of this or that in society. It's heavy stuff.
Encourage, encourage, encourage and build their self-esteem. With each positive thing you say to them you are building them up and making sure they are protected from whatever may come at them.
Love becoming, Lucy
Mom: How can I keep my daughter, nine years old, away from this danger from the internet?
Gary Vee: Only two things. One, you actually don't let her spend time on it. Which, as you know, is very hard. Because everybody in her world will be on it. Two, and this is The only way, I have a 13 year old daughter. And I think about this a lot.
This is my number one thing that I'm most passionate about, period, in the end of the world. Number one way to protect a child, is to build their self esteem. When a child is not insecure, they don't succumb to danger. Make sure she's confident about who she is, her brains, isn't overly reliant on how she looks. Build her actual self esteem, because you're not going to be able to watch her every minute.
Mom: No, I can't. I realize that.
Gary Vee: I know you do, which is why I'm telling you this. I can sense that you realize it. If you make her confident in who she is, that she's amazing the way she is, she will not succumb to other people. And that is how she will succeed.